Daddy I miss you. I miss you more than I could possibly put into words but I’m sure you already know that. People say time heals but it seems with each year, each month, each day it just gets harder and harder. The pain just keeps growing and there are days like today where it just sits in my chest threatening to explode. It’s the weirdest feeling. I feel empty, soulless, heartless even. But yet I feel so full of pain, sadness and grief. And yet feel so much joy and love all at the same time.
I remember one day driving into town from our family home and noticed a tractor sitting in the paddock. My heart instantly stopped and I assumed the worst. I pulled over, got out of my car and started running towards the machine with my phone in hand ready to call from help. As I was climbing through the fence, I heard the machine's engine and realised that in fact there was a person operating it, and they appeared fine. I jumped back into the car, went to the station and caught the train to work. It was 20 minutes into my train ride when I realised my heart was still racing and I burst into uncontrollable crying and hyperventilating. That's when I realised I needed help.
Hi Baby girl, I wasn’t sure whether or not to write to you telling you about your heart surgery as I hope you never have to endure anything like that again. However on the night I wrote to you…
That title sounds weird. Every parent is a full time parent. I mean this is how I managed to complete my degree whilst looking after my child everyday as a new first time mum.
I was one of those lucky mums that breastfeeding came naturally and quite easy to me (may be the only perk of having E cup boobs). I mean, Billie was feeding within minutes of delivery and had her first proper feed whilst in recovery. However that went down hill quite quickly when I developed pneumonia. I was getting drilled by my health nurse, doctors and midwives that I had to breast feed. And I definitely wanted to! But between my extreme dehydration and the medications I was on, my milk supply didn't have a chance unfortunately. But I did find these tips extremely helpful in stretching my supply and increasing a diminishing supply.
A letter to my baby on the night of her birth.
My life 5 years ago was going in a completely different direction! Different home, a whole family, different partner that I was sharing my life with. Turns out life knows whats best more than you do sometimes!
You will do those things you swore you would never do! That’s right, you will give your child an iPad at the dinner table when out to keep them quiet and calm. You will feed them McDonalds when that is…
Welcome to the beginning of just An Ordinary Mumma.
